


Becoming My Own

by becomingmyown



Category: Original Work
Genre: Age Regression, Anxiety, BDSM, Caregiver/little, Childhood Trauma, Diapers, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Little Space, Medical, Medical Kink, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Pacifiers, Rope Bondage, mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 09:21:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becomingmyown/pseuds/becomingmyown
Summary: Lev’s friend and rope partner, Flora, is an anxious, high-performing graduate student. When she gets stuck in the country alone after international travel shuts down due to a pandemic, Lev gets to spend more time figuring out how to help her let go.He discovers her age regression and helps her to learn and accept things that would usually make her go bright red with embarrassment.
Relationships: Flora/Lev
Kudos: 10





	1. Old Ties

Hearing the piercing sound of the door buzzer, I quickly pulled the bread out of the blazing oven, rearranged the crockery to find somewhere to put it, stirred the thick pea soup, and ran to open the door for Flora.

I could sense the exhaustion on her face even as she beamed at me, her freckled face rosy from the climb to the top floor and her normally perfect ginger plait starting to look dishevelled. I hugged her tight, matching my breathing with hers for a few seconds.

“Long day?”

“God damn it, Lev, yes!” she answered with frustration. “Power failure stopped my last chance at the qPCR run and I had to redo the figures for the cell paper yet again. Arthur wants me to write another grant for him and now I don’t know if I’m even going to get home.”

“Bastards,” I muttered, sharing her angst. “Come on in, I'll get this case—Christ on a bike it’s heavy! Tea’s on the stove. Let’s have a good catch-up and get you off to the airport in the morning.”

I shifted the bright red suitcase into the living room and headed back to the kitchen to set out dinner. 

“I heard you developed a taste for stout, aye?”

“Well, yes,” Flora replied. “But do you have any herbal tea? I’d quite like to do some rope play later and need to keep a clear head.”

“Sure!” I chirped, pleasantly surprised and excited.

It had been three years since I had been able to tie Flora and she had only become comfortable enough to let me just before she left for Richmond. When I arrived in Vancouver three months ago, I was overjoyed to move so close to my treasured friend and occasional play partner.

Now though, amid the pandemic and consequent shutdown of international travel, having her staying over on the way home was bittersweet. Since I was staying put, I had no idea when I would see her next. I would need to make this scene count.

I carried the steaming bowls and slices of bread to the table. Flora's eyes lit up. “Erwtensoep! Lekker!” she exclaimed. The Dutch enjoyed their pea soup very much, especially with slices of smoked sausage. I grinned and we ate heartily.

Later, I checked the cuff on her wrist, two-finger spacing. Tying upwards, I smoothed the rope across her rib cage, underneath her breasts, and tightened. I still remembered how to complete and lock off the harness, and I gripped the wraps to pull Flora backwards into my lap.

I stroked her head for a moment, my hand covering her eyes, then I pulled the silk scarf from my pocket to blindfold her. This would help her to let go. I adjusted the wraps on her chest harness to increase the sensation of being held in the rope, then securely tied her feet.

Rolling her onto her front, I completed the tie, and tensioned the line between her ankles and chest harness. Her breathing became deep and the tension fell from her face. I moved in front of her and rested her head against my chest, then ran my fingers down her spine. It felt brilliant.

I checked her fingers to make sure her nerves were okay, then continued to alternate between manhandling and gently stroking my tied plaything.

Afterwards, Flora returned to her usual, particular self after a few minutes of post-scene cuddling. “I need to check my flight,” she said blankly, the stress coming back to her voice.

“I'll bring that up. Stay there,” I answered sternly, pulling her back into my lap. She mumbled for a second.

I grabbed my phone. “KL-216?”

“Yeah.”

“Erm… it says it’s been cancelled,” I said as gently as possible.

“Shit.”

“Don't worry, Flora. We'll sort this out. Want me to call them?”

“No. Where's my phone?” she responded, flustered.

It turned out that we would need to call first thing in the morning to see if one last flight would go ahead. Flora had gone quiet and had started to rearrange the contents of her suitcase.

I felt her deep anxiety and sadness among the silence. My heart sank from the loss of the rest of the evening.

One last hope remained. I took my accordion out of its case and began to play. I sang along to “Brown Eyed Girl,” a tune we had played many times together, years ago.

I looked back at Flora to see a smile developing on her face as I changed songs and continued to play absent-mindedly.

“Hang on, are you playing ‘Despacito’?” she chortled.

My eyes met hers. I put the accordion down and wrapped my arms around her, rocking her gently as she buried her face into my chest.

“It’s okay, Flora," I whispered. "You’re safe here with me.”


	2. An Accidental Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lev finds that Flora is having a rough night and manages to figure out how to help her despite her embarrassment.

I drifted back into consciousness amid the streetlights filtering through the blinds. I reasoned that sleeping on the couch cushions had made me wake up in the middle of the night, and then I heard hurried footsteps. A few moments later, I noticed the thrum of the washing machine pump. I was fairly sure I hadn't set the thing going overnight, the noise would disturb Flora for one, who was sleeping in my room next door. The dryer also tended to trip the circuit breaker and I'd given up using it until I had the thing fixed. I put on my dressing gown and stumbled into the hallway to check. Flora, dressed in just an oversized t-shirt, stood there, rooted in panic.

"Hey Flora. Sorry I must have set it to run by mistake. Didn't mean to disturb you."

"Aah, Lev, actually I needed to do some laundry," Flora stammered.

"At three in the morning? Okay, I'm not gonna judge. Dryer is on the blink, though, so you'll need to hang it from the rack. Here, let me get it down for you."

I leaned into the laundry closet and noticed the telltale galaxy pattern of my duvet cover in the machine.

"Um, Flora, I saw... What's the matter? I asked softly. I was worried that whatever happened was upsetting for her, or that she wasn't feeling well, and I needed to be as sensitive and delicate as possible.

Flora looked at the floor for a moment, her body shrinking.

"It's okay, don't worry. Let's fix this; whatever happens you're special to me and it's important for me to look after you if you need it."

She looked up, her face burning red, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to," she whispered. "I just..."

She couldn't get the words out, and instead just tried to catch her breath between sobbing. My heart dropped. I didn't care about getting woken up in the middle of the night or the bedclothes, only Flora mattered. I even left my awkwardness and anxiety about physical affection behind, as I saw her shaking a little from the chill in the hallway. I wrapped her in my dressing gown and held her as she came apart. I heard a few muffled words as she tried to speak, but at that moment there was no use in them.

"Shhh, I know. It's okay, Flora," I whispered as I stroked her loose red hair.  
"I know it's hard for you and I won't think any less of you, I promise. You're still my super clever, strong, determined, amazing girl. But you don't need to hold everything together all the time. You've had some difficult things happen, and some things are just not your fault. The universe won't end if you let me take care of some things for you. Would you like that?"

"Yeah. But I don't know how to let things go and it's really hard and I'm scared of what you'll think."

"It can be hard to let go, but you don't need to worry. I am a bit of a natural care giver so I would never think badly of you for that," I explained. It could be difficult for Flora to admit she needed help with something. She looked up at me, her blue eyes full of trust, and breathed slowly.

"Okay, I do only have one set of spare bedclothes and they're both in the lounge, so either way, we're both in my bed. Sound okay?"

"Um, yes, that's probably just as well," Flora whispered. "I had a bad dream which was when I..."

"Well, let's see what we can do to help with that," I said reassuringly. "I can read you a bedtime story. Or maybe a textbook?"

"Stories sound nice," she answered softly, her voice higher pitched, almost childlike. "Can I just have some cuddles and hair strokes tonight though, please?"

"Sure thing, princess!" She was slightly taken aback, but smiled contentedly. After a few seconds, her voice dropped again.

"And, um, I have some special underwear that I brought with me for... protection," she forced out. "I'm sorry I didn't wear them before. I didn't want you to notice and I thought it would be okay."

"Don't worry, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You gotta do what you need to. You might even feel safer."

Flora paused a little. "I do feel quite safe wearing them. Sort of small, too. It's a bit of an escape to be honest. Like, back to childhood before all the stress. Thank you for not freaking out."

"I promise, Flora, I am almost impossible to freak out, especially when it's you. You're special to me. And I am really happy that you get that escape, it's totally normal to feel like that and escape from stress by feeling small." This was the escape I had always wanted to have, and the delicate little side of her that I had always wanted to hold. I took a deep breath and prepared to explain more.

"So, that's a bit of a thing with me, that taking care of someone is my escape. It always has been, and you might have found it in rope, that my thing is seeing you let go. There are more ways that I'd like to help you let go, and I have thought of you feeling small and safe with me before. I thought you'd find it weird."

"I don't find it weird," Flora replied. "But, this is all quite new for me, so you're going to have to explain some things. Tomorrow though, because I'm tired and I can't think straight. But I trust you."

She pulled closer to my chest and her eyes met mine for a second. "Please take good care of me," she said softly.

"Always," I said sincerely. "I'll take care of you with everything in my heart."


End file.
